A beautiful post by Anna, who teaches our monthly kids' workshops . . .
How does one find balance in a role that has so many
demands - where a person gives so much of oneself and has to find time to meet
one’s own minimal needs like showering, eating, looking nice, brushing her
teeth? Motherhood can be so crazy at times. Not to mention situations where the
baby is sick, or a family member gets sick and even more responsibility gets
put on the mother. Balance is a word
that flashes before me when I feel so overwhelmed and I often ask myself, “How
did I get to this moment?”
Staying in the moment helps a mother find balance. It
empowers her to see where one may feel unbalanced, and make changes on an as
needed basis; which guides me into setting intentions. I have yet to meet a mother
who did not set out to be the best parent she knew how to be. It is common for
a mother to set the intention to guide a child to be the best he or she can be.
Setting out to do her best, in raising her child, is really a step in the right
direction of being successful on one’s own terms of being a good mother. The
intention set is not an expectation of how things have to turn out. It’s a
starting point on a journey that may have many turns, ups and downs along
the way. Expectations are made to be broken, with love. They are set to reach
for, but the reality is they are ideas, not a destination. It’s a direction to
take with the intention as a starting point.
Messes - this is a word to apply when a mother feels like
everything is in chaos on any level. As I look around my house, I see little
messes of toys everywhere, then I see my other kids’ clutter all around the
kitchen, shelves, and cubbies. If I had time I would de-clutter more, but that
is really just an expectation I have yet to set out to work towards, and these
are just physical messes. How do I stay flexible to the different stages my
kids are in? It's finding balance in my expectations I have for them, teaching
them how to de-clutter more efficiently, or teaching the toddler how to put his
toys away. I know this stage (or stages) don’t last forever. “This too will
pass," is a common phrase I use.
As I sit here and type these little moments of motherhood I
have experienced so far, I really just want to say that it’s a journey that is to be
received with open arms. Motherhood is a facet of life that cannot truly be
controlled, but is to be experienced. When a mother is too rigid about how
things are done, she misses out on some of the joys of being a mom. When a
mother is too flexible, she tends to lose herself and feels too out of
control. Motherhood is about finding a
balance in herself and with others that need her care.
Anna's next kids' class is Saturday, March 26th at 10:15am for kids ages 4-10, only $12. Register online or call the studio.
Great post Anna! I often find myself trying to balance everything in my life, and always leaving myself (or my poor husband!) out of the equation. We all strive to be the best mothers we can be, but often find ourselves "failing" (in our own opinion) every day. Why is that? Why are we so hard on ourselves? I always feel like I could be doing something better, or doing more, but I am just so tired and stretched so thin. Messes in our house and in our minds DO get in the way, and that's just another thing I add to my failure list. Why can't we just stay in the present, embrace the mess and focus on what is most important? It is so hard. Flexibility is tough but I agree, we need to be more forgiving of ourselves as mothers, and more flexible to what is thrown in our path. And stay present. Such great advice, thanks for posting this!
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